What’s the best way to deal with a bossy toddler?

Some toddlers are born trying to take charge of every situation; others are just passing through a bossy phase. Whichever category your toddler falls into, you’ll want to avoid constant power struggles. Starting a pattern of arguments, even during the “terrible twos,” can create a habit that’s hard to break as your child gets older.

Bossy behavior is very common among two- and three-year-olds. That's because toddlers have poor social skills and have an egocentric view of the world. It's also a way of exerting control when grown-ups seem to have all the power. Last but not least, some children are born with dominant personalities, which can come off as bossiness.

This phase usually sees boots out growing it as they realise that they're not the center of the universe and that other kids really don't like being told what to do. Luckily, there are ways to help handle those overbearing impulses without discouraging your toddler's innate desire to lead.

What to do about it:

- Provide enough attention. Your child's demands may be a plea for more time with you
- Give back some control. Offering your child choices ("Do you want to wear the pink skirt or purple one?") makes them feel empowered
- Boost self-esteem. Ask for help with simple chores and offer praise when the task is complete. That way, they’ll feel important without needing to order someone else around
- Reinforce social skills. Make "please" a part of your child's vocabulary, teach your child to take turns, and encourage empathy for others ("How would you feel if Susie grabbed your doll?")
- Lead by example. Are you constantly bossing your child around or making them hurry up or wait? Treat your toddler the way you'd like to be treated
- Don't be a doormat. When demands and/or tone of voice are out of bounds, calmly let your child know, and do not oblige.

That’s the WHAT and WHY. For the HOW, contact lauren@earlyinspiration.co.za.